Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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