Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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