I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
