just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I looked at my own cervix.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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