u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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