and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
