I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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