you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
