I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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