Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
