I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
birth control should be required to get into college
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
