just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
