New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
