I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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