Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
time to smoke my breakfast
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
