: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
