Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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