That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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