Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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