I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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