He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
