she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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