all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So here I am, sexting at work.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
