just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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