he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
