hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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