dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
