Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
