your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
