Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
