I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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