It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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