Kiss
Puke
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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