I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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