I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
