Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
