what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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