Someone shit on the floor
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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