remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
