i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
