go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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