I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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