I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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