What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
