get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
