Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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