Non-Jews are for practice
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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