that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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