no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
