if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
even my farts smell like vagina
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
