you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
