Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
only if we run a train.
done.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
